In class the other night I felt like I was acting from inside a glass box. I could see what was on the outside, out of my comfort zone, but when I tried to move forward, sideways or anywhere, I just kept running into walls. I was so frustrated, I could see where I wanted to be, but I couldn't figure out how to get out and get there. It made me think of this scene from Divergent.
As I delved into the "why" of it all, it occurred to me that so often in life I allow myself to be held back by things that don't actually have power over me. And I think the first step is recognizing that. Then it can be as easy as simply tapping on the glass to make it crack... All we have to do is realize that "it's not real," these restrictions and limitations that are containing us, suppressing our dreams, keeping us from being who we truly are inside. The only limits we have are those that we put on ourselves! It is simply a decision to stop holding back in fear, to step up and shatter the glass of our inhibitions and escape!! So what are we waiting for??
A few days ago I was walking with some friends and stopped to notice a tiny bit of moss growing out of a board, shaped like a heart. It was so beautiful, and immediately the quote "love actually is all around us" came to mind. And not just because it's from one of my favorite Christmas movies, but because it is true. We're just not always looking for it.
I find that we often live in fear of things we are afraid of happening. Even if they never come to pass, the time spent worrying is like experiencing them at least once. On the contrary, we are so afraid of dreams being unrealized that we don't even allow ourselves to dream, and end up robbing ourselves of feeling the good even once! There is a similar chance that the best and the worst might happen, so why do we decide to live in the worst? And what if we tried it the other way around?
It seems to me that people who live in the positive and believe the best in people and situations have an easier time finding it. I know circumstances change and some people seem to have all the luck, but I have also seen that you often find what you genuinely search for. Sometimes we are afraid to look for what we really want, so we look for what we're afraid of and we end up finding it. But it doesn't have to be that way! Give it a little thought today... What are you truly looking for?
Last week I had a private movement/dance lesson with the lovely and talented Jasmine Rafael at Millenium Dance Complex in North Hollywood. The goal was to become more in tune with my body movement, but what I gained was so much more! I saw everything I was going through spiritually, emotionally, and relationally manifest through my body. I could see it in my movement, posture, and even in the strain of my muscles. Most of the things I heard from her were "relax", "let go", and "you're overthinking things." Towards the end she simply said, "Don't be afraid to make mistakes!"
That is HUGE for me. I have been seeing so many things in my life recently that I want to tackle and fix, but I want to do it perfectly the first time. I don't allow myself to take those baby steps that are absolutely essential in the learning process. I see the end goal and I want to be there now. I hold myself to impossible standards and am disappointed when I "mess up." I tend to fixate on the problem instead of learning from it. But I have begun to realize just how much I can learn from my mistakes.
Oftentimes we value perfection, but when we make a mistake it can be an opportunity to grow. If we are terrified of messing up, we will be paralyzed into inaction. But the more we let go and allow ourselves to make mistakes, the faster we will learn, and the easier it will be!
Watching Jasmine dance is riveting, beautiful and inspiring. She is fierce, fearless, and dances with abandon. I aspire to throw off the chains of perfectionism and learn to let go, have a little grace for myself, and even go beyond that to be excited about my failures, because they are an amazing learning opportunity!!